Copyright © 2012, Bob Begin and Robin Stratton
Published by Whiskey Creek Press LLC

Reviews For THEN SHE RAN by Bob Begin and Robin Stratton

“A heartbreaking and riveting accurate view of the ordeal of adoptive parents coping with the devastation of reactive attachment disorder. They struggle to find comprehensive treatment to address their daughter's underlying pain and are confronted with the fragmented bewildering mental health care system which is not only daunting to navigate but creates more suffering. These parents are courageous in their determination and even when confronting that love is not enough, they share their sorrow and courage in a way that will fortify other families.”
~ Nancy Rappaport MD, Assistant professor of psychiatry Harvard Medical School and author of In Her Wake: A Child Psychiatrist Explores the Mystery of Her Mother's Suicide

“As someone who has dealt with parents of runaway teenagers, I know the feeling that no one in this state knows what to do or how to help. To get this information out to the public should be a priority. We need to keep in mind that most runaways have loving parents whose hearts are breaking every moment they don't know where their child is; parents who are living through this NOW and feel as if they are the only ones. This book will help them not feel so alone. Thank you, Bob and Patty, for having the courage to relive this nightmare so people can see we need to fix the system.”
~Debbie Savoia, Massachusetts Community VOICES

“Amazing and powerful, and unfortunately, a story that continually plays out within our system on a daily basis: a family desperate to find help for the child they’ve loved unconditionally, and a system that fails them. Once a child is considered an endangered runaway, the case is automatically placed on the back burner. This book is a testament of the problems parents of troubled teens face in a system that doesn’t know how to cope. It’s also a valuable tool for parents facing the same issues with their own kids.”
~Laurie Myers, Massachusetts Community VOICES

My wife Patty and I sat in the chilly, too-bright doctor’s office and tried to digest the news: Procedure didn’t work... wouldn’t advise trying again... chances of success are limited... I held her hand, but I doubt she noticed; she was just staring at the floor. I’m sure she thought her inability to conceive was her fault.
“ So where do we go from here?” I asked.
The doctor shut his folder, finished with us. “There’s always adoption.”
We hadn’t planned to adopt. But then again, we hadn’t planned on not being able to have kids of our own. Who does? It’s one of those things you spend your entire life not thinking about until it happens to you. Until it’s in your lap, and it’s like someone made this tragic decision about your life and you didn’t have a say in it.
I reacted by burying myself in work and coaching a youth football team evenings and weekends. Being surrounded by kids, even if they weren’t mine, had a comforting effect on me. Their respectful but affectionate shouts of “Hey, Coach! Look! Watch me!” told me I would have been a good father.
Patty’s sadness went deeper, but didn’t linger like mine. She turned out to be more resilient, and only a few months went by before she said, “I believe there’s a child out there for us, waiting for us. I believe that’s the reason we couldn’t have our own.”
“ Maybe,” I said. I wasn’t in that place yet. I’d accepted the circumstances, but wasn’t ready to look on the bright side of it.
“ Bob, let’s adopt.”
“ I don’t know if I’ll be able to love someone else’s kid,” I told her honestly.
“ You love the kids you coach.”
“ That’s different.”
“ What if I could guarantee that you would love an adopted child just as much as if it had come from us?”
“ You can’t.”
She smiled, eyes excited. “What if I told you I already know a little girl who needs to be adopted?”
“ What?”
“ It’s so sad, Bob! Her mother has some heavy duty emotional issues and can’t take care of her. She’s in her fourth foster home.”
“ Wait,” I said, “just wait. Who is she? How do you know her?”
“ My father knows her case worker. Imagine? It’s like fate! She needs a mother and a father, and we need a child.”
I scowled, unwilling to hope, getting grouchy just thinking about it. Like suddenly the world is going to stand on its ear to cooperate? I’d gotten used to the idea that we would never have a child. Adopting meant taking a risk: an emotional investment. I wasn’t ready. I wouldn’t do it, no way. “How old is she?" I heard myself ask.
“ Six. She’s an absolute doll! You’re going to love her, you’ll see! Should I make an appointment with the agency?”
No! I sighed. “Okay.”
Five days later, Patty’s father called and said, “Okay, she’s here! Come over and meet her!”

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