Even after Erik Sebastian parked his SUV close to the entrance of Sophie’s apartment building, he still couldn’t bring himself to get out of the vehicle.

Instead, he sat staring up at her apartment and wondering what in the world was wrong with him lately. What had happened to the in control, never-lose-any-sleep-over-a-woman guy. The guy who didn’t let anything shake him—especially not a woman.

The guy looking back at him in the rearview mirror had never felt so uncertain about a woman before. Certainly had never tried this hard to make one happy.

This whole friendship slash I-don’t-have-any-idea-what-I’m-doing-anymore thing with Sophie McGraw was bordering on obsessive and as out of character as it got for him.

Friendship—with a woman he was attracted to? Was this the first real sign he’d finally slipped over the edge? Maybe working twenty-hour days was starting to take its toll on his mental stability. This was not the Erik Sebastian that anyone who knew him would recognize, that’s for sure.

But friendship was all that Sophie had left to offer any man. After all, Kevin, Erik’s best friend, had been the love of her life.

Still, Erik couldn’t keep from cringing all over again at the thought of how badly he was betraying his best friend by even having these feelings for Sophie in the first place.

Was it betrayal? If he was the only one who felt this way? Friendship was the only hope he had with her and he was just desperate enough to take whatever she would give him. He could be happy being her friend, couldn’t he?

Unfortunately, he wasn’t able to convince himself of that now anymore than he had been the dozen or more times he’d had this very same argument. What he felt for Sophie went way beyond wanting to be her friend. It might be all she had to offer him, but it was the last thing he wanted to settle for with her.

No matter how hard he tried to convince himself that he had her best interests at heart, Erik knew he would do anything to keep her in his life. Even if it meant just being her friend.

A year ago, this whole conversation he was having with himself right now would have seemed pretty funny. After all, the thought of him, one of New York’s most notorious bachelors, falling helplessly in love with any woman was pretty hilarious. Especially one who didn’t know he existed beyond that dreaded F word.

Love wasn’t even supposed to be a part of his vocabulary. He was business first, then women, which translated to physical satisfaction, second.

Oh sure, he enjoyed the whole dating thing—the hunt—but that was all it was. Just a game. There wasn’t time in his life for love, or romance, or happily-ever-afters.

At least that was what he’d always believed until eight months ago when Sophie McGraw, brand new wife to his best friend since college, walked into his apartment and destroyed all of those excuses once and forever.

Until that particular Wednesday night at exactly seven minutes past eight in the evening, he’d never believed in the existence of such things at love at first sight—or love at any sight, for that matter. But then again, he’d never met the right woman.

Until now. Until Sophie.

Unfortunately, now was too late. He was having this earth-shattering awakening far too late to do anything about it. The right woman was wrong in every other way. Ms. Right-and-perfect-in-every-way was Mrs. Kevin McGraw. His best friend’s wife.

That he’d been attracted to…no, that he’d fallen helplessly in love with Kevin’s wife—no need to diminish the depth of his crimes when it was just himself he was confessing them to—was bad enough when his friend had been alive and in trouble and needing Erik’s friendship to help him survive.

But now? Kevin hadn’t even been gone three weeks and during that time, as terrible as it was to admit—again, why not be honest at least with himself?—he had been looking for reasons to spend time with her.

And the latest list in the long and growing list of sins? Convincing her to move in with him. Okay, technically, he’d asked her to help him out by staying at his apartment since he spent every waking minute at the office, but a guy could dream, couldn’t he?

Even now on the day he was here, sitting outside her apartment building ready to move her into said apartment, Erik was torn.

If he was a decent guy, not to mention the friend he should have been to Kevin as well as Sophie, he would just send her packing all the way back to that hole-in-the-wall town she’d come from eight months earlier. After all, wouldn’t he be doing her a favor by not complicating her already painfully complicated life any further? Unfortunately, Erik knew he wasn’t going to be that strong.

Of all places, why had Kevin even been in Kinsington, New York in the first place? The town had a population of what—a thousand at best? Tucked away in the Adirondacks, it was not the type of place Kevin McGraw frequented. There were no glitzy restaurants or clubs. Hell, there wasn’t even a place to ski in that town, which made the whole idea that Kevin was there in the first place that much more suspicious.

And then there was the fact that according to Kev, he’d met her outside the local library—even more outrageous—during the middle of a busy workweek when he was supposed to be on a business trip for Sebastian Advertising on the opposite end of the state. When Erik had asked him about all those things, Kevin had given him his usual song and dance routine.

When he’d pushed the subject a little further and asked what Kevin really knew about the girl, it hadn’t been much. But then again, Kevin had made it clear that he didn’t need to know anything about her. He had just seen her, liked what he saw, and went for it. Nothing close to Kevin’s normal MO, that was for sure. But Sophie wasn’t Kevin’s normal type either. Nothing about Kevin was turning out to be what Erik believed he knew about his friend, or his behavior. He wasn’t so sure that the Kevin he’d gone through university with and had later hired as his right-hand man was the same one he thought he knew at all.

Not that anything about Kevin’s erratic behavior recently really surprised Erik all that much. Over the last year of Kevin’s life, his work ethic had gone from bad to downright nonexistent.

Erik knew all about Kevin’s drug problem at the university because he’d helped Kevin get treatment for it. But he should have realized something was up when Kevin had announced, out of the blue, that he’d gotten married to a girl he’d known for less than a week.

He probably would have too, until the moment Kevin had showed up at Erik’s apartment with Sophie and Kevin’s strange behavior became the last thing on his mind. Some friend he’d turned out to be.

Erik glanced at his watch, saw that it was seven—the appointed time—but still made no attempt to leave the Range Rover. Instead, he tried again to understand what it was about Sophie McGraw that got to him. He was actually starting to get sick of that question. He’d been asking it for months now and the answer—well beyond the obvious—still eluded him.

Okay, so she was pretty. Big deal. He’d dated far more beautiful women before—certainly more glamorous. Nothing about Sophie could be described as glamorous. So what if she was just plain, flat-out pretty? And seductive in a way that most women would kill for. The unintentional way. And then there was this certain way she had of smiling that just about lit up her whole face, not to mention the room around her.

But it was those eyes. The sexiest brown eyes he’d ever seen. A striking combination with her short blond curls. Sophie McGraw was every bit of five foot two and not drop-dead gorgeous in anyone’s book, but damn, he wanted her. More than he’d ever wanted another woman before her.

Add another item to that growing list of sins. Lusting after your best friend’s wife had to be the ultimate sin. Especially your now-deceased, best friend’s wife.

Erik closed his eyes and leaned against the steering wheel of the SUV. He wondered if Sophie had any idea of the type of man Kevin really was. Clearly, the marriage she believed she had with Kevin was far different from the one his friend was constantly telling Erik about.

Since his death, every single time Erik brought the subject up of Kevin, Sophie changed it just as quickly. Something definitely wasn’t right there.

According to Raymond McGraw, Kev’s father, it was easy to see what the problem was. Sophie. If Raymond was to be believed, all of Kevin’s problems had started about the same time he’d met and married Sophie. But Erik couldn’t accept any of Ray’s accusations.

After all, Kevin could be a little on the self-indulgent side, not to mention downright spoiled at the best of times. And the last thing Kevin had needed in his life was to be tied down in a serious, committed relationship with anyone. Kevin still enjoyed the freedom of single life too much. He was known for just disappearing at times without letting anyone know where he was going. Erik could only imagine how that would have gone over with someone Kevin was supposed to love.

And then, of course, there was the outrageous lifestyle Kevin loved. Erik hated knowing that Kevin had been unfaithful to Sophie but his friend had wanted to talk about it, so he’d forced himself to listen.

On more than one occasion, Kevin would complain about how wrong he’d been by marrying Sophie in the first place with one breath, and then how much he loved her with the next. Unfortunately, he’d also gotten to hear all about the other women in Kevin’s life. And that’s not even bringing up just how many times the two of them argued. Erik had actually lost track of that number.

But the whole erratic behavior pattern of Kevin’s should have been enough to warn Erik that something was terribly wrong. If he were being honest, he had suspected something—even that it was the drugs again—but he’d chosen to ignore it. Erik had been too lost in his own obsessions to help anyone.

Every single time Kevin suggested they meet after work for a drink to talk, Erik wondered if his friend suspected how he really felt about his wife.

He’d come so close to confessing everything, especially on the handful of times the three of them had been out on the town. Erik couldn’t help but wonder each time if Kevin had figured it out or if he even cared, for that matter.

It had certainly surprised Erik that Sophie hadn’t guessed. After all, there had been several occasions when it was Erik who took her back to the apartment after Kevin met up with one of his so-called friends. Everything about his behavior on those occasions had to give it away. Erik had been all nerves. He couldn’t think of a single thing to say to her and what he had said came out sounding angrier than how he really felt. Crazy about her.

Now, considering the circumstances, Erik was just grateful he had managed to keep his mouth shut.

But there was just no way he could bring himself to believe Raymond’s accusations. Someone like Sophie would never allow herself to become involved in drugs. Ray had been hurting over the loss of his son and needed to blame someone.

God help him if he were wrong, because he’d just invited her into his home.

So what was it about Sophie that made him want to throw all of his reservations out just to be close to her? After all, he’d known Kevin for over ten years. He barely knew her at all.

The thing that bothered him the most was that he couldn’t—no matter how hard he tried—find an answer to that question. He didn’t understand why he felt this way about her but whatever it was it made him that much more determined to find the answer.

“Enough. Let’s just get this over with,” he said out loud before forcing himself to get out of the Range Rover. “You asked for this, Sebastian, so deal with it.”

With any luck, being close to Sophie every single day would kill whatever feelings he thought he had for her. He’d never had a relationship that lasted more than a few weeks. What was going to make this one any different? Just because he’d let his fantasy grow into unrealistic proportions didn’t mean the real Sophie McGraw stood a chance of living up to that dream now, did it?

Unfortunately, Erik could still remember the way she’d felt in his arms the night of Kevin’s funeral. The night he’d held her close all night long while she cried those useless tears for a man who had chosen to take his own life. A man who hadn’t been capable of being faithful to her from the very beginning of their short marriage. A man who didn’t deserve her.

He’d come so close to touching her that night. Experience told him she wouldn’t have resisted. She’d all but asked him to make love to her. She’d wanted him. But she’d wanted him for comfort. To wipe away the memories of the terrible day. He couldn’t accept that from her.

Even today, Erik couldn’t look at her and not remember those tears. Or how much he’d wanted it to be him whom she cared so much for.

As he locked the Range Rover and stood staring up at the building, the last words Kevin had said came back to haunt him. Some comment made in passing a few days before his death along the line of things coming to a head. At the time, Erik had thought Kevin was simply blowing off steam. No doubt, they’d had another argument and he was once again, regretting marrying Sophie. Erik had simply thought Kevin was looking for sympathy.

But the night of the accident, he couldn’t get those words out of his mind anymore than he could keep from wondering if somehow, his friend had seen the end coming.

After Kevin’s funeral, out of frustration and probably guilt, Erik had brought up Ray’s accusations and asked Sophie about the drugs found in Kevin’s car.

He could still see the hurt in those brown eyes of hers when she’d answered him. And God help him, he hadn’t fully believed her.

That she was hiding something was easy to see. She was almost like an open book. That he wasn’t sure he wanted to know what that something was had been just as clear. He hadn’t believed a word of what she’d told him that night.

The apartment Sophie shared with Kevin was in one of the nicest buildings in the neighborhood. This building and most of the others in the exclusive neighborhood belonged to Raymond McGraw.

It hadn’t really came as any great surprise when Ray insisted Sophie move out of the apartment but what he couldn’t understand was why she was so adamant about not taking a single thing beyond her few personal possessions with her. It was as if she wanted to put her marriage in the past. That had only made Erik that much more suspicious. After all, Kevin was the love of her young life, wasn’t he?

The lobby was all but empty this rainy night. Erik headed toward the elevator bank lifting a single finger in greeting to the doorman that now knew him by his first name.

Another sin.

As he left the elevator and walked the half dozen steps to her door, he hated that he couldn’t bring himself to dismiss Ray’s accusations from his thoughts anymore than he could Kevin’s innuendos. God help him, but he hated that he didn’t believe Sophie’s innocence.

Unfortunate for him, none of that mattered the moment she opened the door. It didn’t matter that he had more doubts than answers.

The second he saw her standing there in the doorway, the second he spotted that smile of hers that lit up his heart and dispelled those doubts, he didn’t care what she was involved in or how much trouble lay ahead for him. It didn’t matter how many broken loyalties he’d committed by being here now, or offering her a place to live. By wanting her the way he did right then.

None of those things mattered anymore. He was crazy about this woman and that was all that mattered to him. He was crazy about her and too far-gone to ever walk away from her now.